Adventures in dating...oh, in dating sites, too

Thomas and I are just friends now. Another long story about this break up, but it basically boils down to me being unwilling to accept less than what I want and deserve. I am only interested in men that love everything about me. Thomas admitted that he was attracted to my intelligence, but not to my body. I used to think having a man appreciate my intelligence would be great until I dated an older man briefly who wanted to just have intellectual conversations with me on the telephone with no social contact after his older girlfriend gave him an ultimatum - her or me. Not enough. I wish Thomas the best and hope he finds someone that is "ideal physical type" who is interested in him. With his lack of social skills and nerdy looks that may be hard. I doubt that there are a lot of drop dead gorgeous women that are interested in his physical type when the physical type most women these days like is either ripped hard bodies or tall, thin and handsome; Thomas is none of these. But I loved him anyway. because he's a cute funny guy with an incredibly mind and capacity for love and kindness when you look deeper. It wasn't his lack of social graces that ended our relationship. It was knowing that he doesn't feel the same way about me that I do about him. But it's not the first time I've cared deeply about someone only to find out he didn't feel the same way about me. As for my physical type. I find tall, dark men handsome, but I am not attracted to muscles or any particular build. However, I do not limit myself to a physical type and have dated all types of men. I am tall and I have dated men shorter than me. I've dated me much larger than me and men much smaller. Thanks to leaving all of the superficiality I had regarding men's looks when I was young, I have met and gotten to know some incredibly wonderful men. Not all resulted in relationships, but it is great to get to know so many interesting people. I joined a new dating site for large women and men attracted to us. I have shied away from these sites due to the high level of attempts to exploit women men may think are insecure and/or desperate for a relationship. While there are still women of all sizes, not just large women, who fall into one or both of those categories, many of us large women now are confident, discriminating, and willing to wait for the right man. So far I've been contacted by one "catfish," the colloquial term for bottom-feeding scammers. He is definitely from either Nigeria or Ghana due to his use of "am" instead of "I am" and tells the typical story of being a widower looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with in his profile. Another dead giveaway is his disclosure of a high income to attract women afraid of meeting someone with little or no income that will exploit them for money and/or a place to live. I blocked this guy who claimed to be Native American and posted a photo of a man who looks white and said he was only interested in women willing to communicate through web cam, which means he is collecting photos to either sell or use for other purposes (I've seen photos online of unsuspecting large women who posed nude on web cams thinking they would only be seen by a man who claimed interest in them.) I only wish those interested in web cam encounters, nude photos, phone sex, and booty calls would be as forthcoming as this scammer.The exclusion of anyone not interested in communicating through web cam was probably the only thing he was honest about in his profile. However, he stated that he wanted to see women on web cam so he can "get to know" them better. So, he even lied about that. I also had a message from a man on POF whose profile photo is very disturbing and whose profile information is even more disturbing. He left me a message that only said "hi" and I answered with a one-word message. So, the next message i got was "How are you doing?" which probably took a great deal of effort for him to write judging fr om the grammatical and spelling errors in his profile. In his descriptive information he states that he is not interested in marriage or any kind of committed relationship, but in his written profile he says he is looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with on POF. Looking at his photo, I'd say it's definitely possible that he has more than one personality. My most promising prospect at this point is not from POF where I've struck out twice now, but on Mate.com, the site for large women and their admirers. A gentleman from Canada, I think (not sure on this site) left me a generic message and I answered it. We'll see what happens. Not in any hurry to get involved with anyone after two back-to-back failed relationships. Besides, I have a 45-year old (this month) hottie trying to "hook up" with me (my terminology, not his) that is on my friend list on Facebook. He's an artist and commented on one of my posts,"I want to meet you bad, Ms. Geoyce Chatman!" I expect to meet him in the near future and we'll have to see what happens. Not sure why a man his age wants to meet a woman in her 60s, but it won't be my first time in Cougarville. I had a steamy relationship with a 27-year old when I was 41 that I met through a personal ad. But he just wanted to be my boy toy. I'm a very generous person but supporting an adult male is not appealing to me at all. -I once had a guy on Tagged who I suspect was in prison offer to be my boy toy (I suppose when he was released) and made it real clear it would be a financial relationship. I posted his buff picture that looked like it was taken in a prison gym on Facebook to see if any of my female (or male, I don't think he had a preference) were interested in "buying" a relationship. There were no takers.