You've been on dating sites. You've had adventures. Share some of them here! Don't be shy. Anyone who's been on a dating site knows what you've gone through to find Mr. or Ms. Right.
Have you found the man or woman of your dreams? Still looking and need some helpful tips? Run into types you'd like to warn others about? Having fun just meeting people? Tell us all about it!
This is your opportunity to share your adventures and perhaps find some camaraderie with other dating site members. You never know who's had similar adventures to your own. Wouldn't it be great to find support and friendship in your quest for love?
You definitely have mine! So, let me know about your personal adventures, ask me a question about the dating sites I've joined (I only belong to one now!), and let me know if you need any tips or advice about dos and don'ts.
I look forward to reading about your adventures in dating sites!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Love at first, no second, no third, no fourth, no FIFTH sight!
LATEST UPDATE ON MY FAVORITE DATING SITE:
I always thought I had a soul mate. Imagine my surprise finding him less than five miles away! He's everything I dreamed of and more.
Don't give up on finding your soul mate! Finding mine was worth trolling through all the scammers, "cammers," hit-it-and-quit-it artists, psychos, and emotional vampires.
It took only nine months and four dating sites! Even though I didn't find my Mr. Right on Tagged, I've met some great friends here, including the man who's going to make me rich, my music producer!
Because he took the time to actually read my profile, he found out I write songs and now we're making a digital CD together. Just read that this will be a multi-billion dollar industry by 2015!
My man knows I have friends here and doesn't have a problem with me keeping my page up and staying in touch with all of you.
So, thanks Tagged friends for your support through my brother's death, four failed attempts to find love here, and all of my "bad days."
As for the ones who let me get away, I just want to thank you. If I'd settled down with your sorry ass I'd have missed out on the man of my dreams!
I always thought I had a soul mate. Imagine my surprise finding him less than five miles away! He's everything I dreamed of and more.
Don't give up on finding your soul mate! Finding mine was worth trolling through all the scammers, "cammers," hit-it-and-quit-it artists, psychos, and emotional vampires.
It took only nine months and four dating sites! Even though I didn't find my Mr. Right on Tagged, I've met some great friends here, including the man who's going to make me rich, my music producer!
Because he took the time to actually read my profile, he found out I write songs and now we're making a digital CD together. Just read that this will be a multi-billion dollar industry by 2015!
My man knows I have friends here and doesn't have a problem with me keeping my page up and staying in touch with all of you.
So, thanks Tagged friends for your support through my brother's death, four failed attempts to find love here, and all of my "bad days."
As for the ones who let me get away, I just want to thank you. If I'd settled down with your sorry ass I'd have missed out on the man of my dreams!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Rating the free dating sites: Tagged, Badoo, Net Log, and Plenty of Fish
Rating the Dating Sites: Which one's #1?
I'm registered on six different sites, four of which actually offer free services. The first site I joined was Tagged, which I rate as the most popular and the most fun IF you're able to weed out scammers and cammers.
Tagged has the best and the worst of dating site "trollers." I've met lifelong friends there and predators that make Ted Bundy seem normal. The fun parts are playing games, which I avoid for the most part; sending "tags," little messages that range from sweet to downright raunchy; giving LUVS, three a day unless you're a Premium member @ $19.99/month; "winking" at friends; and sending elaborate, often beautiful comments.
I've made many good friends on Tagged which has the best profile pages - I currently have two - that can be as simple or as elaborate as you want them to be. Just skim through the riffraff and you'll meet some nice people.
My least favorite site is Badoo, which seems to consist completely of scammers and cammers. I have to say Net Log, with a few exceptions, is not much better. I've been contacted by three men actually using the identities of U.S. Army officers. Reprehensible!
The scammers are everywhere on Net Log with equal numbers of cammers. Nearly everyone there wants to go straight to chat with one purpose in mind, usually: to get you on web cam. The others want to gain your trust to work their scam and get you to send them money.
I have met one or two "real" people on the site; however, I've run into several guys
from other countries trying to find someone to marry for U. S. citizenship. Beware!
Hands down the best site I've been on is Plenty of Fish. Contact time is slower, but
scammers are deterred because you can't send email or IM addresses on the site.
Of course, many people are there looking for a "hook-up" (casual sex), but that
can happen meeting people in traditional ways. Often dating is about sex, online
and offline. You have to decide whether you're interested in a booty call or want a
relationship.
I'm just glad POF has a mechanism for screening out scammers. None of the
other sites seem to care. So far, I've only met a few people there, but except for a
nurse who called me at 3:30am when he got off work hoping to have phone sex,
most are regular guys.
I have a standing date with a guy from nearby Detroit at Tim Horton's for coffee
when the weather gets warmer and just met a writer from Toledo who is so perfect he seems almost too good to be true. We'll see what happens.
Be careful of meeting anyone contacted on a site in person. Arrange such meetings in public places initially. Make sure someone you trust knows where you are, how to contact you, and has any information you have about the person you're going to meet. Never get in a car with someone you've just met or leave a public place to go somewhere private the first time you see the person.
If you feel uncomfortable or afraid, do not see the person again. Do not give people you meet on dating sites your home address or work address. Beware and be safe.
I'm registered on six different sites, four of which actually offer free services. The first site I joined was Tagged, which I rate as the most popular and the most fun IF you're able to weed out scammers and cammers.
Tagged has the best and the worst of dating site "trollers." I've met lifelong friends there and predators that make Ted Bundy seem normal. The fun parts are playing games, which I avoid for the most part; sending "tags," little messages that range from sweet to downright raunchy; giving LUVS, three a day unless you're a Premium member @ $19.99/month; "winking" at friends; and sending elaborate, often beautiful comments.
I've made many good friends on Tagged which has the best profile pages - I currently have two - that can be as simple or as elaborate as you want them to be. Just skim through the riffraff and you'll meet some nice people.
My least favorite site is Badoo, which seems to consist completely of scammers and cammers. I have to say Net Log, with a few exceptions, is not much better. I've been contacted by three men actually using the identities of U.S. Army officers. Reprehensible!
The scammers are everywhere on Net Log with equal numbers of cammers. Nearly everyone there wants to go straight to chat with one purpose in mind, usually: to get you on web cam. The others want to gain your trust to work their scam and get you to send them money.
I have met one or two "real" people on the site; however, I've run into several guys
from other countries trying to find someone to marry for U. S. citizenship. Beware!
Hands down the best site I've been on is Plenty of Fish. Contact time is slower, but
scammers are deterred because you can't send email or IM addresses on the site.
Of course, many people are there looking for a "hook-up" (casual sex), but that
can happen meeting people in traditional ways. Often dating is about sex, online
and offline. You have to decide whether you're interested in a booty call or want a
relationship.
I'm just glad POF has a mechanism for screening out scammers. None of the
other sites seem to care. So far, I've only met a few people there, but except for a
nurse who called me at 3:30am when he got off work hoping to have phone sex,
most are regular guys.
I have a standing date with a guy from nearby Detroit at Tim Horton's for coffee
when the weather gets warmer and just met a writer from Toledo who is so perfect he seems almost too good to be true. We'll see what happens.
Be careful of meeting anyone contacted on a site in person. Arrange such meetings in public places initially. Make sure someone you trust knows where you are, how to contact you, and has any information you have about the person you're going to meet. Never get in a car with someone you've just met or leave a public place to go somewhere private the first time you see the person.
If you feel uncomfortable or afraid, do not see the person again. Do not give people you meet on dating sites your home address or work address. Beware and be safe.
From Scammers to "Cammers," Not That Big a Leap!
Scammers have one goal: to get a stranger to send money to someone who's established trust and a long distance relationship based on a lie. They use phony photos, names, stories, and locations. It's their job to convince you it's all true. And that they love you. And that they want to marry you. Then they find a reason to ask you for money.
Men who want to get women on video use the same strategies as scammers, except they don't usually create a false identity because they're not doing anything illegal. Exploiting women for sexual gratification rather than financial gain, they'll say anything to get you on a web cam. That's why I call them "cammers."
These guys want control over women, asking them to strip, pose, and even perform sexual acts on camera while they watch. Never mind that there are "professionals" who provide such services. These jerks are too cheap to pay for it.
I was sent as a joke, a still photo of a 300 lb+ woman sitting naked with her legs spread over the arms of a chair exposing her vagina. The person sending the photo with the caption "Somebody f-ed up my day, so I'm f-ing up yours!" either forgot I'm 300 lbs+ or was just too insensitive to care.
When I received that photo of a woman who agreed to pose for someone who exploited her, not once but twice, I realized cammers are no better than scammers. One just takes your money. The other takes your soul.
Men who want to get women on video use the same strategies as scammers, except they don't usually create a false identity because they're not doing anything illegal. Exploiting women for sexual gratification rather than financial gain, they'll say anything to get you on a web cam. That's why I call them "cammers."
These guys want control over women, asking them to strip, pose, and even perform sexual acts on camera while they watch. Never mind that there are "professionals" who provide such services. These jerks are too cheap to pay for it.
I was sent as a joke, a still photo of a 300 lb+ woman sitting naked with her legs spread over the arms of a chair exposing her vagina. The person sending the photo with the caption "Somebody f-ed up my day, so I'm f-ing up yours!" either forgot I'm 300 lbs+ or was just too insensitive to care.
When I received that photo of a woman who agreed to pose for someone who exploited her, not once but twice, I realized cammers are no better than scammers. One just takes your money. The other takes your soul.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
My Response to an Obvious Scammer
I appreciate your interest and your need for a mother for your daughter. However, I am not interested in getting involved with a man with children. I can't have any and never wanted any. And I certainly don't want to live with a child this late in my life. I don't have the patience.
Good luck finding a mother for your daughter. I'm sure there's some lonely, childless woman desperate for a family that will accept your offer. I'm neither lonely nor desperate. Just weary of widowed men with children who just assume because I'm a woman that #1 I have a maternal instinct and #2 I'm so desperate for a man I'd accept a marriage proposal from one I've never met. This is the sixth such offer I've gotten this week.
I have stock replies for these guys now and use them liberally. Never worry about hurting a scammer's feelings. Remember, these people have no concern about your feelings and will manipulate your emotions to get what they want, which is usually as much money as they can get you to send them. Best to let them know you're on to them and get rid of them as soon as possible.
NEXT POST: From Scammers to "Cammers"
Good luck finding a mother for your daughter. I'm sure there's some lonely, childless woman desperate for a family that will accept your offer. I'm neither lonely nor desperate. Just weary of widowed men with children who just assume because I'm a woman that #1 I have a maternal instinct and #2 I'm so desperate for a man I'd accept a marriage proposal from one I've never met. This is the sixth such offer I've gotten this week.
I have stock replies for these guys now and use them liberally. Never worry about hurting a scammer's feelings. Remember, these people have no concern about your feelings and will manipulate your emotions to get what they want, which is usually as much money as they can get you to send them. Best to let them know you're on to them and get rid of them as soon as possible.
NEXT POST: From Scammers to "Cammers"
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Toad Stool
"Toad stool" is "Frogese" for bullshit. I just received the following message from the vilest toad of them all: the dating site scammer. "Signs of a Scammer at Work" are in bold letters.
"Hello pretty am very glad to hear from you, i must confess you are very cute and
charming you are even mush younger than your age and i want you to know that
age is nothing and distance is nothing all that matter is the real love and understanding and i know you have every thing a man desires in a woman and you can be a good mother and a good wife to me i don't need those young ladies that don't know anything about love or feelings, and i don't jump around ladies am not that kind of man i really need woman that can understand me and love me for real. I thank God i found you cause i know you have everything i have been searching for all this while am very glad to hear from you once more.
"Am Henry Benjamin by name and i work and live in North London, i have one lovely kid Susan by name and she mean everything to me she is the Apple of my eyes i work for her and i don't toy with her she is all i haveand mother died two years ago in a car accident on her way from work since then i have been all alone by my self and i have been searching for a caring and understanding woman like you who can take good care of her for and also take good care of me too and i thank God i found you and i must tell you a lovely pic, i
will be very much happier if you can send me some of your pics and your phone
number i really love to hear your loevly voice.Please take good care of your self for me my charming awaiting your reply LOVE YOU and Need you in my life.
Henry."
The Signs
1. The first sign is the use of "am" instead of "I am," denoting a pattern of speech
inconsistent with grammatical usage by individuals whose first language is
English. Also, notice other grammatical errors, misspellings of commonly used
words, and the very stilted way of "speaking" throughout.
2. The second paragraph is full of signs: indication that he is in search of a mother
for his child and a wife for himself; the death of his child's mother, usually in an
accident or due to a common disease such as cancer; his location and profession,
which is usually the UK, Nigeria, or Ghana where the scammer works as an
engineer or contractor in the oil or diamond industry; the profession of love for
woman he's never met and whose voice he's never heard.
The profile photo was of a white male and, along with his name, is fake. Usually
these scammers are Nigerian or Ghanaian and they may even be female. The
tactic is to find someone willing to accept the above offer, then if the scammer is
not already in one of the three countries mentioned, 'he' will have to go there on
business. Then 'he' will either find the investment of a lifetime that will secure the
future of him, his child, and future wife OR 'he' will suffer a great tragedy or loss,
both scenarios that will require his "fiancée" to send him a large amount of cash.
Women have sent thousands of dollars to these scammers who've made bilking
unsuspecting people into a cottage industry, often working at a site like the ones
where telemarketers make calls. Only instead of making calls, they send out these
scripted messages.
Many scammers pretend to be Americans working overseas, but sign #1 gives
them away. I actually had a guy pretending to be from L. A., go on a fake "business" trip to the Philippines where he of course ran out of money and called
me using the Nigerian international code and talked to me with a heavy Nigerian accent, still trying to convince me that 'he' was American when I confronted him.
Last I checked, he's still on Tagged, where scammers have free reign. The above
message was sent to me on Net Log where eight out of ten men who contact me
are scammers using almost the same exact script used by "Henry," one out of ten is a voyeur wanting me to go on web cam, and one out of ten is an honest man.
Scammers are like viruses on dating sites and most free sites are full of them.
Of the free sites I've joined, only Plenty of Fish screens out scammers by not
allowing people to send email addresses, which is a scammer's main tool for
seducing women, either on a chat line or by a direct email message. I received the
above message through email. Most paid sites ban the exchange of email
addresses I've been told.
While scammers are the lowest scum on dating sites, there are other toads and
frogs out there that are poisonous, too. While the scammers are usually just after
your money and will use every emotional ploy to get it, there are men on dating
sites who will take away your dignity, self-respect, and ability to trust other people.
These guys are after your heart and mind for their own self-gratification. I will reveal their personas and tactics in future posts.
NEXT POST: MY RESPONSE TO "HENRY!"
"Hello pretty am very glad to hear from you, i must confess you are very cute and
charming you are even mush younger than your age and i want you to know that
age is nothing and distance is nothing all that matter is the real love and understanding and i know you have every thing a man desires in a woman and you can be a good mother and a good wife to me i don't need those young ladies that don't know anything about love or feelings, and i don't jump around ladies am not that kind of man i really need woman that can understand me and love me for real. I thank God i found you cause i know you have everything i have been searching for all this while am very glad to hear from you once more.
"Am Henry Benjamin by name and i work and live in North London, i have one lovely kid Susan by name and she mean everything to me she is the Apple of my eyes i work for her and i don't toy with her she is all i haveand mother died two years ago in a car accident on her way from work since then i have been all alone by my self and i have been searching for a caring and understanding woman like you who can take good care of her for and also take good care of me too and i thank God i found you and i must tell you a lovely pic, i
will be very much happier if you can send me some of your pics and your phone
number i really love to hear your loevly voice.Please take good care of your self for me my charming awaiting your reply LOVE YOU and Need you in my life.
Henry."
The Signs
1. The first sign is the use of "am" instead of "I am," denoting a pattern of speech
inconsistent with grammatical usage by individuals whose first language is
English. Also, notice other grammatical errors, misspellings of commonly used
words, and the very stilted way of "speaking" throughout.
2. The second paragraph is full of signs: indication that he is in search of a mother
for his child and a wife for himself; the death of his child's mother, usually in an
accident or due to a common disease such as cancer; his location and profession,
which is usually the UK, Nigeria, or Ghana where the scammer works as an
engineer or contractor in the oil or diamond industry; the profession of love for
woman he's never met and whose voice he's never heard.
The profile photo was of a white male and, along with his name, is fake. Usually
these scammers are Nigerian or Ghanaian and they may even be female. The
tactic is to find someone willing to accept the above offer, then if the scammer is
not already in one of the three countries mentioned, 'he' will have to go there on
business. Then 'he' will either find the investment of a lifetime that will secure the
future of him, his child, and future wife OR 'he' will suffer a great tragedy or loss,
both scenarios that will require his "fiancée" to send him a large amount of cash.
Women have sent thousands of dollars to these scammers who've made bilking
unsuspecting people into a cottage industry, often working at a site like the ones
where telemarketers make calls. Only instead of making calls, they send out these
scripted messages.
Many scammers pretend to be Americans working overseas, but sign #1 gives
them away. I actually had a guy pretending to be from L. A., go on a fake "business" trip to the Philippines where he of course ran out of money and called
me using the Nigerian international code and talked to me with a heavy Nigerian accent, still trying to convince me that 'he' was American when I confronted him.
Last I checked, he's still on Tagged, where scammers have free reign. The above
message was sent to me on Net Log where eight out of ten men who contact me
are scammers using almost the same exact script used by "Henry," one out of ten is a voyeur wanting me to go on web cam, and one out of ten is an honest man.
Scammers are like viruses on dating sites and most free sites are full of them.
Of the free sites I've joined, only Plenty of Fish screens out scammers by not
allowing people to send email addresses, which is a scammer's main tool for
seducing women, either on a chat line or by a direct email message. I received the
above message through email. Most paid sites ban the exchange of email
addresses I've been told.
While scammers are the lowest scum on dating sites, there are other toads and
frogs out there that are poisonous, too. While the scammers are usually just after
your money and will use every emotional ploy to get it, there are men on dating
sites who will take away your dignity, self-respect, and ability to trust other people.
These guys are after your heart and mind for their own self-gratification. I will reveal their personas and tactics in future posts.
NEXT POST: MY RESPONSE TO "HENRY!"
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Kissing Frogs
I'm not really in search of a prince. A decent guy with a job and average intelligence without psychological problems would suit me just fine. He doesn't have to be either tall or handsome, although a nice smile would be great. So, if I'm not searching for a prince, why am I kissing so many frogs? I think I've even smooched a couple of toads.
Kissing frogs in the dating world means encountering men that make Quasimodo and Hannibal Lector look like good prospects. Well, maybe they're not that bad. But when you're accosted by scammers trying to get money from you, "hit it and quit it" artists trying to get sex from you, voyeurs trying to get their kicks wanting to watch you on a web cam, and emotional vampires whose idea of a good time is shopping for a 'wife' and making proposals to women they don't intend to marry, you start to think that maybe online dating is a big joke and you're the punchline.
There are great guys on dating sites. Fantastic men who offer you support and "friendship!" Just what a woman in search of Mr. Right wants. A good looking male friend who'd never consider her as a romantic partner. In truth, I've made friends with a number of wonderful men and am very happy to have them as just friends. At least I don't have to kiss them. "Kissing" in online dating is a euphemism for taking the risk of opening yourself up to the possibility of a serious relationship and making yourself vulnerable to the aforementioned predatory practices.
Unfortunately, I'm still kissing frogs, hoping, not for a prince, but the one guy that will make me forget all the frogs and toads I've smacked in the kisser and justify all of the time, energy, emotional and financial risk, and my belief in love and satisfactory, if not happy, endings searching through dating sites for him. Only then will "kissing" stop being a euphemism.
Kissing frogs in the dating world means encountering men that make Quasimodo and Hannibal Lector look like good prospects. Well, maybe they're not that bad. But when you're accosted by scammers trying to get money from you, "hit it and quit it" artists trying to get sex from you, voyeurs trying to get their kicks wanting to watch you on a web cam, and emotional vampires whose idea of a good time is shopping for a 'wife' and making proposals to women they don't intend to marry, you start to think that maybe online dating is a big joke and you're the punchline.
There are great guys on dating sites. Fantastic men who offer you support and "friendship!" Just what a woman in search of Mr. Right wants. A good looking male friend who'd never consider her as a romantic partner. In truth, I've made friends with a number of wonderful men and am very happy to have them as just friends. At least I don't have to kiss them. "Kissing" in online dating is a euphemism for taking the risk of opening yourself up to the possibility of a serious relationship and making yourself vulnerable to the aforementioned predatory practices.
Unfortunately, I'm still kissing frogs, hoping, not for a prince, but the one guy that will make me forget all the frogs and toads I've smacked in the kisser and justify all of the time, energy, emotional and financial risk, and my belief in love and satisfactory, if not happy, endings searching through dating sites for him. Only then will "kissing" stop being a euphemism.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Why use dating sites?
Today's singles are often busy with work and other concerns that keep them off the dating scene. Even those who have the time aren't always happy with their options. Many peole don't care to cruise bars for dates these days. Conventional methods of meeting people - at church, social groups/functions, common interests, or through friends - don't always work out with everyone moving in different circles and actually moving physically frequently for work or other opportunities, making it difficult to meet eligible singles.
The 21st century alternative to traditional dating is dating sites that promise to bring people together. Paid sites like match.com and eHarmony boast of their success in not only getting people together, but getting them to the altar! But what about those of us who don't have money to invest in finding a mate during the economic crisis? There are plenty of free sites and/or sites that offer some services free of charge. These include popular sites Plenty of Fish and Tagged, as well as less known sites such as Net Log and Badoo.
I've tried out all of the above and a few others and will be sharing my insights about dating sites that are basically free on this blog. Some of what I share will be very personal and some will reflect my own personal bias. However, everything I share, though very subjective, will present as balanced a view of each site as I can give based on my own personal experiences.
The 21st century alternative to traditional dating is dating sites that promise to bring people together. Paid sites like match.com and eHarmony boast of their success in not only getting people together, but getting them to the altar! But what about those of us who don't have money to invest in finding a mate during the economic crisis? There are plenty of free sites and/or sites that offer some services free of charge. These include popular sites Plenty of Fish and Tagged, as well as less known sites such as Net Log and Badoo.
I've tried out all of the above and a few others and will be sharing my insights about dating sites that are basically free on this blog. Some of what I share will be very personal and some will reflect my own personal bias. However, everything I share, though very subjective, will present as balanced a view of each site as I can give based on my own personal experiences.
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